Both Headphones
Not a Luxury I get to enjoy
As I was getting ready to run a work errand, I put my headphones on, but only over one ear. My coworker said that I shouldn’t wear them out. “They look too nice,” she said, “you will be a target.” I told her I was fine, that I always only wear one ear anyway. That if someone wanted them bad enough to take them off my head, they could have them.
It was as I was walking that I found myself incredibly infuriated with the whole situation. My coworker, a woman a little older than me had the best intentions with what she was telling me. She wants me to be safe; she says this from a well-meaning place. That I already so naturally only wear one headphone is what pissed me off. Because I as a woman I need to be aware of my surroundings. I can’t walk anywhere, even in broad daylight with two headphones on. I can’t get on the train with two headphones on. I can’t sit at a cafe with two headphones on. It was such a natural response to say, I only wear one headphone I will be fine. Everything surrounding that necessity pisses me off.
Constantly women are taught to modify our behavior to be safe, to prevent being a victim. It’s on us not to get raped. It’s on us not to get attacked. And if we are, then we are asked what we were wearing, how we walked, how many drinks we had, what we did to instigate, and how this could have been prevented.
I am tired of this culture that says women are fragile, but also blames us when we are victims. It makes me angry that I know that wearing both headphones is simply not a luxury I get to enjoy.
